who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
