If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
