The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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