i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm determined to sit on that face.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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