I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
