so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
