random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
