my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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