I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You should frame my arrest warrant.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
