Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Randomize
