Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I queefed so loud it echoed.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I fill condoms, not promises.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
