He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
