Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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