I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
