Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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