I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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