Yo dont text me then not text me
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
