i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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