That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
