At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Floor bacon is actually really good
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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