we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
