i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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