i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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