did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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