All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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