you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
