My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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