next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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