just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
