Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
