He is such a slut. More and more my type.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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