hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You had me at "let me see your balls"
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
