I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
what day is it and did you see me today?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
So I just went to clothing optional bar
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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