That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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