Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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