I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
