My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
