So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Buhtt sex?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
