It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
