God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
