By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just want nice things and good sex
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
