I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize