New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
