There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Randomize
