you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You're like the curious george of whores
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
