Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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