He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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