If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
