this boner is exhausting
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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