my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
