dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Randomize
