I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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