two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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