Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
