She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
