My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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