hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You're completely useless in the revolution.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
This house was built for laser tag.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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