he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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