and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
