So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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