awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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