i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
