Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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