Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I have post one night stand depression
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