He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
