hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
