There is no way he is gay with that hair.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
